Day 28: Breaking the rules causes neurosis.

Observe the phone: my mortal enemy

So, here's the thing. I am having some significant difficulty with this whole "No Men for a Month" thing. Sure, I'm learning valuable lessons about myself, growing as a person, and all that jazz. But by Saturday night, I was over it. I just wanted to find a cute boy and get all up in his business.

Lucky for me, I found one. He was cute. And tall. And sexy. And Filipino. And sober. And friendly. And polite. So OF COURSE I gave him my number. And then, less than 24 hours later, I remembered why I started this man sabbatical in the first place. Let me share with you the pointless, boy crazy neurosis that followed after giving my phone number out to the ultra hot guy:

SUNDAY: In the morning, I spend way too much time discussing with S whether or not he will actually call me. At lunchtime, I spend way too much time discussing with S and W about whether or not he'll call me. On my way home that afternoon, I spend way too much time wondering about whether or not he'll call me. In the evening, I am distracted for several hours while I am at a symphony performance. Following the performance, on my way home, I wonder about whether or not he will call me and decide that he probably won't. It occurs to me that this is exactly the type of situation I was trying to avoid with the Man Sabbatical.

MONDAY: He calls. While I am at work. He does not leave a message. I decide to send him a friendly text message in response. Immediately after I send the text message, I remember that the screen on his phone is jacked up and there is only a 50/50 chance that he actually received the message. I call S in a panic. She suggests that I leave a voicemail on Tuesday. We spend entirely too long discussing whether this would seem like a stalker type move. P calls. She insists that if he does not leave a message, I should not call at all. I remain generally distressed and uncertain about what I should do. It occurs to me again that this is exactly the type of situation I was trying to avoid with the Man Sabbatical.

TUESDAY: I decide to wait until Wednesday to leave another voicemail. At this point, I am completely irritated with myself for this pointless display of neurosis. WTF??? Why do I do this sort of thing? It occurs to me that if I am obsessing this much about a stupid phone call, then it is possible that I have learned nothing at all from the Man Sabbatical.

On to less distressing topics...


I Freakin' Love Salsa.

The dancing kind of salsa, I mean. Consider:

Pros:

As long as you are pretty, men will continue to dance with you, even if you keep stepping on their feet and smacking them in the face with your elbow. And maybe once in a while jabbing them in the eye with your finger or kneeing them in the groin accidentally. It is the perfect dance for a clumsy white girl.

As long as your partner is a good, you'll never look all that bad out on the dance floor.

You don't have to make any decisions.

Cons:

You come home smelling like really cheap cologne.

You might get home too late to update your blog on the day you were actually supposed to update it.

I'd say the pros far outweigh the cons. Verdict: I heart salsa!!!

Also

Circa has the most amazing brule I've ever experienced in my life. It's like an orgasm in your mouth. I want to take it behind the bleachers and get it pregnant.

*MJ*

PS I am too tired to figure out why the font is all jacked up and will fax it at a later, yet to be determined, date.